It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
