Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
