do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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