Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
