I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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