One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
