I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
