He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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