so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize