Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
