Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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