if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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