even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize