She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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