Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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