I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
someone owes me an orgasm
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
