Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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