when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
