do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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