You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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