Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
