xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
