Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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