my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
