Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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