He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
