Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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