Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
