So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
