He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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