Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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