Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i think my cat just said my name.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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