Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
