Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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