Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize