I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
