i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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