just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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