If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
