you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
