If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
