I want to have your abortion
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
