listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
