420 ftw
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
