I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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