some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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