Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize