I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
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