I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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