I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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