I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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