Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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