K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
