is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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