Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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