How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
