just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY