Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

My cock was attacked by outdoor plants

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys

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(214): View more from Texas

I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.

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(951): View more from California

Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(316): View more from Kansas

You love me.

(785): View more from Kansas

That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.

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(404): View more from Georgia

it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men

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(248): View more from Michigan

You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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(630): View more from Illinois

come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.

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