you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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