the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.