I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome