she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
