Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
