I think i sorta joined a cult last night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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