Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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